1. |
The Heart Thief
01:59
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DAD: Alright, time for bed.
SON: Aw dad, can I read a story first?
DAD: Eh...alright, but just ONE story.
SON: Thanks dad. Night night!
SON: Now let's see, which one? This one, "The Heart Thief."..."Once upon a time, there lived a terrible ruler called The Swine King, The Tusked One, The Eater of Hearts..."
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SWINE KING: Hearts...I want more hearts!
PIGGY ONE: Er...Your Royal Swineness?
SWINE KING: What?!
PIGGY TWO: We have heard of a heart most tortured!
PIGGY THREE: Most tortured indeed, ahaha!
SWINE KING: Where is this heart? It sounds delicious! I must have it at once. Fetch my armor!
PIGGIES: Right away, sire!
PIGGY THREE: Here is your armor, sire.
(They struggle to put the armor on him.)
PIGGY ONE: Sire, the armor...
SWINE KING: What about it?!
PIGGY TWO: It seems to be too small...
SWINE KING: Put your back into it, man!
(They struggle again, and finally it clicks into place.)
SWINE KING: Now then, let us be off to acquire this wonderful heart!
NARRATOR: And so the Swine King and his minions left the temple to find this tortured heart. But how strange! When they found the owner of the heart and crept in through the window, they found it inside a simple wooden box with a latch. Who would keep their own heart in a box...except for someone who couldn't bear the pain of it being within? They quietly crept away with the heart, leaving its owner heartless. But they did not realize the mistake they had made...
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2. |
Once Upon A Time
01:52
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Gather round children, I’ll tell you the tale
Of the thieves that came here in the dark
Looking for something that I locked away
Because I couldn’t stand to feel that broken heart
NARRATOR: The man woke to find his little box and the heart within gone, stolen by the horrible Swine King and his minions. But without his heart he was no longer man. He could already feel the darkness overtaking him. Then, he knew - he must go after the Swine King and retrieve his heart.
The Swine King lived in a temple, far away, protected by his royal guard atop a mountain. The man knew it was a dangerous journey, but he had no choice. He gathered his weapons - an enchanted shotgun and an old battleaxe - and headed for the horizon.
What have they stolen? What locks have been broken?
They’ve taken the box by the bed
They don’t know what they’ve just done
I’ll track down the Tusked One
And I’ll bring back the box and his head
NARRATOR: At the base of the mountain, the man stood in the shadow of its peak and knew that there was only one direction in which to go...
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3. |
Up Mountain
02:44
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Come on, forget the story, we've got a little job to do
Grab the shotgun and the battleaxe to
Cause we're going up that mountain cause that's where my heart will be
And when I see that twisted monster I will show him why he'd be wise to give it back to me
Those combat masters, the heart they captured
They lie in wait across the hills
But I’m a machine on a mission and my prime directive: KILL
They guard the temple of the Swine King who lies protected in his base
So they’ll be dispatched by shotgun blast and I’ll smash my axe into his face
Follow them until the end
Subject them to my punishment
Take what they have stolen back with me
Vengeance has become my art
A masterpiece of body parts
The slayer of the pigs who stole my heart
Climb the peak and reach the top
Hurry before my heart stops
End their lives and take the box
We’re going up that mountain
Find the box and kill the king
Make them regret everything
Death’s the gift that I will bring
We’re going up that mountain
Going up that mountain!
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4. |
The Goblin's Music Box
02:56
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NARRATOR: Now our hero travels deep into the forest and he is met by a goblin there...
GOBLIN: If you seek the ultimate power, continue forth into my hidden lair. If you will face the Tusked King, you must know what lies ahead. An army of swine, and a two-faced fiend - and that is why you must wield the power of the music box of the dead.
NARRATOR: After making it through the thickest part of the forest, the cave loomed before him, the entrance like a mouth waiting to devour our hero. Carefully, he made his way through the cave as the passages narrowed, widened, and narrowed again, inching his way over a ledge and a cross a makeshift bridge. And there, on an ornately carved pedestal, he saw it - the music box! Carefully, he lifted it up from the pedestal and felt its power wash over him in a blinding ray of light...
...but you didn't think it was going to be that easy did you?
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5. |
Face to Face
03:27
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NARRATOR: He was now face to face with a mechanical behemoth with two faces, one on each side. The hero and beast began to sing, each inexplicably aware of the lyrics. And to add to the rising levels of nonsense, they engaged in a highly choreographed fight scene.
Your bravehearted notions and heroic actions will never see the light of this day
That little music box you’ve got there is ours
Do you dare to stand in our way?
I am the bullet behind you
I am the dark of the night
Got my finger on the trigger
I’m about to show you why
I am the reaper of mechanical life
With speed unmatched we are deadly by design
Run if you like but now your soul is mine
One-two I cut you down like a gale force wind
And now we let the bleeding begin
And now we let the bleeding begin
I am the bullet behind you
I am the dark of the night
Got my finger on the trigger
I’m about to show you why
I am the reaper of mechanical life
NARRATOR: Though two had been after the music box, only one remained standing, and the mechanical monster lay on the ground. Steam and gears were falling from its chest, and though it had tried its best, it now struggled to even make a sound...
You may have bested me but you will never see
The temple of our master, the Swine King
And even if you do this is a day you’ll rue
Because an army of boars will destroy you!
NARRATOR: With the two-faced fiend bested, our hero continued on his path, back out of the cave and exiting the forest. Soon he came to the temple with its terrifying columns and massive golden doors. He approached cautiously but before he reached the steps...
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6. |
The Swine Brigade
03:40
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From the gilded doors, they marched out ten by ten
Legions of pig-men armed to the teeth with spears
And swords and shields
And they were wielding the weapons to exact porcine vengeance
Upon the enemies of the Tusked King
Clouds of dust rose up from under cloven hoof
Crushing bone, scorching earth and leaving ashes and soot
You must beware the swine brigade
Demon drummers smashed out a syncopated beat
With yellowed bones, they played on the drums of war
A cadence for the unholy formation
You must beware the swine brigade
All may try, but none may pass
Your road ends here
Fight with swine, you’ll get the tusks
Now cower in fear
NARRATOR: He was obscenely outnumbered. He didn't stand a chance against this army. Then he remembered the magical music box...
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7. |
Unlocking The Box
01:22
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NARRATOR: No sooner had he thought of the music box than it lifted itself out of his pack and began to play a mournful elegy. The tune seemed to call out, to tell a sad tale of death and destruction from long ago. The plinking notes floated through the night, one after another, on and on, as the swine laughed at this pitiful display. But their laughter ceased as the ground began to rumble and something shimmered in the distance. Their mirth turned to horror as red eyes and drooling mouths came toward them, hungry after many years of slumber.
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8. |
The Hordes Are Coming
03:33
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In night’s shadow, the hordes of dead
The horizon filled with their eyes
Glowing red on a field of black
For the time to feed was coming nigh
Ravenous, repulsive fiends who screamed with a cry so shrill
Awakened from the eternal sleep, now it’s time to eat
It’s time…TO KILL
Baring their fangs, they ran for the hills
Ancient evil ones seeking pig blood to spill
Awakened at last, gnashing their teeth
Feed on the strong and kill off the weak
Grab your weapon, stand up tall
Prepare yourself for a fight
The hordes have come to kill you all
And paint your blood on the sky
In the face of a sure defeat, all the piggy-pigs took up arms
So many masters of pike and blade, but nothing seemed to cause any harm
Battle cries fading in the fray as the brigade is eaten alive
This darkened day will be their last and there’s no one left to hear their cries
Darkness consuming in a wave of death
No time for pigs to draw their last breath
A few remain and continue to fight
The boar-shaman points and speaks with a cry
Grab your weapon, stand up tall
Prepare yourself for a fight
The hordes have come to kill you all
And paint your blood on the sky
The shaman pig in desolation casts a last spell helplessly
“Blow now, cloud of the barren wind
Rip apart my undead enemies!”
Now with the pigs and undead laying in scattered pieces
And desolation all around
Our hero uses one finger to draw an ancient symbol upon the ground
The doors rumble and open up
Into a temple deep and wide
Now to face the Tusked King
Our hero steps inside
Rushing forth to meet his foe
And retrieve the stolen heart
A wave of anger, overbearing
Find the king and rip him apart
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9. |
Into The Temple
02:45
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NARRATOR: Inside the temple, its hallways stretched on endlessly like a maze. But he knew he was close as he heard the echo of his heart beating somewhere within the temple. He raced down path after path, searching for his nemesis, The Swine King...
SWINE KING: Well well well, what do we have here?
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10. |
The Tusked King
04:12
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ANNOUNCER: Step right up folks, you don't want to miss this! It's the fight for the ages! In this corner, we have the mysterious unnamed hero, master of arms! And in this corner we have...our reigning champion! He's none other than the fantastic, the horrific, the beloved leader to both you and me! His Royal Swineness...The Swine King!
Thunderous feet on the marble beneath
There’s dust coming out of his snout
He grips his weapon and he’s ready to charge
There’s gonna be only one way out
Force of a cannon when the bodies collide
He fights with both power and style
His piggy minions are cheering for him as he raises his blade with a spin
And the crowd goes wild!
A lot of power and a lot of theatrics
Half a fight and half a dance
He takes his time like he’s toying around
And then resumes that fighting stance
Every strike is thrown away
Nothing fazes the king reviled
There’s little doubt that he’s going to win as he turns to his fans with a spin
And the crowd goes wild!
There’s grime on his tusks and a smell of his musk
And his armor is sweat-and-bloodstained
As he turns to the crowd and demands they be loud and he screams
“Are you not entertained?”
NARRATOR: The hero, on bended knee, hung his weary head. He was strong, but seemingly no match for the power of hearts wielded by The Swine King. Each heart consumed by the treacherous king had increased his power multifold. There must be some way to defeat him! Just then, the hero heard the beating of his own heart outside his body, inside its box. Reinvigorated by its rhythmic beating, he climbed to his feet. The narcissistic Swine King, too engrossed in riling up the crowd, did not see our hero tighten his grip on his battleaxe. He did not see our hero grit his teeth and run toward him, filled with anger. As the crowd gasped, The Swine King turned, too late of course, to see our hero bearing down upon him with great speed, vengeance in his eyes!
Now’s the opportunity | an axe into the creature’s knee
He tries to run but falls
Oh, he is quick but I am faster
He pleads for mercy, but instead
A gun against his swine forehead
A final squeal, the king is dead
I am the combat master
NARRATOR: But then he saw the crown...
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11. |
Bury My Heart
04:21
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Amid the carnage
Upon the ground
The Tusked King lay there
Blood upon his crown
They gasp in horror
The king is dead
I take his iron crown and place it on my head
This feels like a weapon inside my heart
I can’t let this weapon tear me apart
Achieved my purpose
And yet it’s strange
A change is coming now
Flowing through my veins
My heart is missing
Now I have found
I no longer need my own so bury it in the ground
This feels like a weapon inside my heart
I can’t let this weapon tear me apart
Skin turns to leather now...
Tusks sprouting from my face...
The Tusked King is gone...
But now a new king takes his place
My craving is driving me to tear you apart
And I am hungry for your heart…
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